The Blame Game

I'm so sick of hearing how my generation is doomed. That WE are the biggest reason HIV is on the rise- that WE don't care enough to take action- that WE aren't doing enough politically or that WE will never understand AIDS because we didn't hack it in the 80s. As a very strong HIV/AIDS Awareness Advocate and Outreach Worker that deals primarily with young gay/bisexual men these finger pointing statements look like complete bullshit- they are hurtful, inaccurate, and do nothing to help motivate young people to CONTINUE to educate themselves and others. The reasons young men don't use condoms (in the event that they decide not to have safer sex) 9 times out of 10 will have nothing to do with not knowing about AIDS. I think nearly every gay man I know knows at least one (usually more) gay men with HIV. I'm tired of being labeled as an ignorant and passive youth because I'm not.

Now that thats off my chest there are two important points I think the older generations need to consider before shaking their heads in condemnation at the actions (or lack thereof) of the up-and-comers.

Look at how HIV is portrayed today. Read a magazine- pick up an Advocate- watch a commercial for Atripla or some other HIV med. What do you see? I see some of the most gorgeous and healthy/happy individuals I've ever seen. They're on the beach- they're coupled- they're goreously tan and muscled. The side effects of these meds are downplayed and we now know that you CAN live a healthy life and manage the HIV virus. What did YOU see when GRID first hit the newsstands? Pictures of wasting, people suffering with lesions, camel humps, fat displacements- barely able to hang on to life. Are these both accurate pictures of their respective times? In a sort of best/worst case scenario I suppose they are.
The stigma surrounding people with HIV needs to be removed- I think as a responsible and informed gay community we can agree with that. People living with HIV/AIDS are not monsters. They come in all different shapes and sizes- and they can be those gorgeously toned Adonis-like men at Muscle Beach. Part of removing the stigma is removing the images that made your generation so compassionate- so moved by the AIDS epidemic. We will never know the pain of watching so many helpless people die of AIDS because that just isn't what happens anymore with proper treatments. Look at the people that had to suffer through that decade and look at the people living with the virus now- there's a difference. Are we blind to the pain and suffering of people with HIV? In the way it is presented in this day and age it should come as no surprise that some people can't help but lack some understanding of what it used to be like.

I dont know many people who regret coming of age in the 60s and 70s. I don't blame them. Whenever talking with someone about this era its hard for them to get through it without some sort of all-telling smirk that lets me know that only memories-not words- can accurately describe the political and sexual climate during this time. Sexuality isn't becoming a smaller issue. With the constant fight for equal rights we are currently facing for the LGBTIIQ Community- Sexuality and Sex are constantly on everyone's brain, everyone's news channel, and everyone's paper. How liberating it must have been to have such fluid sexualities- to live in an age of free love. To fuck whoever you wanted without thinking of consequences- to be able to move along the sexual revolution and get your rocks off in the process. My generation didn't get that chance. We may as well have been born with condoms on our penises. We constantly have to worry about the status of our partners- the availability of condoms- what diseases we may already be living with/treating etc.... Sex is exhausting (mentally and hopefully physically). Can you blame us for wanting to know what its like? For not being able to resist temptation 24/7? Keep in mind it only takes ONE incidence of lapsed judgement to contract HIV. Its a heavy burden to be put on our generation- we are responsible for being responsible because if we don't keep ourselves under control we risk another epidemic. Im thankful for the knowledge that we have and I am not advocating for unsafe sex- but I understand it and thats an important step in continuing the fight against HIV.

Consider media- consider the information now available and the Positive icons we have today- Recognize that the word "youth" is not interchangeable with "ignorance" and ignorance is not always the cause in the transmission of HIV. Also consider the current HIV rates we're seeing. It isn't just young men being infected- its everyone. instead of putting us down how about finding ways to give us a hand up?